The Bumbling Bumble - Building Barricades

By Roger Arsht

January 10, 2021

              Tommy and Johnny watched as Bumble stood in front of the barbershop and nervously looked in both directions before quietly slipping through the door. The two checkerboard players could see that Bumble was mumbling and twitching more than usual.

              “What’s wrong Bumble?” Johnny asked.

              “They’re…they’re…after me,” Bumble struggled to say.

              “Who’s after you?” Tommy asked.

              “The people in the supermarket. They chased me out.”

              “Why would people chase you out of a supermarket?” Johnny asked.

              “The customers were talking about the people who broke into the Capitol. They said they were insurrectionists. I thought I was being helpful by pointing out that not everyone who was there wanted to destroy the building and hold elected officials hostage.”

              “Oh no. What happened?” Tommy asked.

              “They called me a Trump supporter, a Trump apologist, a racist, and a bigot. Then it got worse. People called me an asshole and a Nazi. Then they made comments about my mother. I’m not a Republican. I’m not even registered to vote. I hate everything about politics. I hate conflict even more.”

              “Did you tell them that?”

              “Yes…I tried. One of the people told me that I was passively supporting Trump by not registering and voting as a Democrat," he said obviously still rattled. "I thought it was my choice whether I participated and who I voted for.”

              “I’m sorry that happened. People are fired up about what happened at the Capitol,” Tommy added solemnly. “This will pass, Bumble. People will settle down. There’s a new President and the Democrats control Congress. The problems this country is facing are huge. The Democrats will have to compromise like every other administration if they want to get anything accomplished.”

              For the first time since they had met him, they could see Bumble’s sadness turn to anger. “I have listened to friends, good friends, tell me that Trump should die or be killed. That he should get cancer. That he should be put in prison and perpetually raped. Celebrities, politicians, and news people say equally vile things. Frankly, I don’t like the guy. He’s a pompous blowhard. He’s a malignant narcissistic. He has been a conceited, selfish, egotistic piece-of-shit his whole life.” Bumble’s eyes had turned red and teary. “I just can’t believe the way people are behaving. Have we lost our minds? What kind of people wish for the death of someone even if they hate them?”

              “Times have changed, Bumble. People wear their politics on their sleeves. They don’t identify as Americans anymore. They’re either a Democrat or a Republican. They aren’t willing to disagree for the common good. No one is willing to compromise,” Johnny said sadly.

              “Both parties are feeding off the carcass of what was the United States of America. Hell, 100% of the federal budget is used for social programs, interest on the national debt, and the military. Every other expense is paid for with borrowed money. My children will never be able to pay the debts the last couple of generations have amassed,” Bumble said, despondently.

              “You have children? We didn’t know that.” Johnny said.

              “They barely talk to me. When I suggest this country needs to put its financial house in order, they think I’m suggesting that spending should be cut. They accuse me of wanting people to starve and die. What I believe is that spending needs to be cut and taxes need to be raised. I don’t see how one side or the other can be so militant. Both sides have failed to deliver for the country and have contributed to our pervasive problems with hunger, homelessness, racism, and poverty.”

              “It’s easier to blame than fix,” Tommy said.

              “But what do I do? I’m scared for my safety. I don’t think it’s right to hound or threaten people when you don’t know their beliefs or if you don’t agree with them. Hell, it’s not right at all.”

              “You’re scared of them and they are scared of you,” Johnny said sadly.

              “What do we do? The situation is insufferable and it’s getting worse.”

              “You’re not going to like my answer, Bumble. People are going to build the barricades higher.” Tommy said, shaking his head.

              “What barricades?”

              “Do you remember in Les Misérables when the young people built a barricade to protest the economic and social inequality in Paris? They thought they could overthrow the government. Unfortunately, the Parisians didn’t rally to their cause. Outnumbered, the protestors were gunned down.”

              “Are you saying that the people who stormed the Capitol were protesting economic and social inequality?”

              “God, no. What I’m saying is that when people feel threatened, they wall themselves off from each other. They choose sides when they should be seeking common ground. They think they’ll survive and prosper at the expense of those who they disagree with. They keep building the barriers higher and higher hoping that they will have a strategic advantage when the shooting starts,” Tommy with his chin down.

              Bumble fell silent for a moment before responding. “Which explains why gun sales are at a record high.”

              The men silently looked at each other. Each one knowing that truth had been spoken. Eventually, Johnny broke the silence. “Whichever party controls the government controls the most guns. They control the levers of government, law enforcement, the courts, and the police. That’s why this last election was so contentious.”

              “What do we do?” Bumble asked. “I don’t want to worry about being accosted every time I go to the supermarket or cash a check at the bank.”

              “Pray that there are enough people who demand their elected officials don’t try to eviscerate their political opponents every time there’s a disagreement,” Tommy said with a pained look.

              “Seems easier said than done. Every time I try to have a conversation, an argument breaks out. I wish the world could be more like a barbershop. You’re allowed to say what you want. People get angry. Eventually you’re told to shut the hell up. Then we move on to the next subject until an argument breaks out and you’re told to shut the hell up again”.

              “Hey Bumble,” Johnny said flatly. “Shut the hell up.”

              The men looked at each other with serious faces for a moment before they erupted in laughter until Bumble brought up a new subject. “It looks like the Yankees did well in the offseason. The Phillies didn’t do shit.”

              “Oh dear God, Bumble.” Tommy said. “Don’t make me beat you to a pulp. Maybe the people at the supermarket were right about you.”