Hungover by Roger Arsht

November 25, 2020

Dan Kotler and Joanne Bloom were sharing their morning cup of coffee at Pete’s Coffee Shop when they overheard a conversation at the next table. A young couple thought they were speaking softly enough so that the two octogenarians couldn’t hear them. They were wrong. Dan and Joanne could hear them clearly.

“Those old people are hammered. They look like they’re going to fall over if they don’t throw back a few more cups of coffee.”

“I think they’re talking about us, Dan.” Joanne said to Dan while tapping his arm.

“Really?”

“Listen.”

“It must be nice to be retired and wealthy. You get to party all-the-time and you don’t need to get up for work on a Monday morning.”

“Dear God. They are talking about us.” Dan swiveled his chair toward the young man and woman at the next table. “Can you come over here and join us? I want to talk to both of you.” Dan had a way of making a question sound like a command.

“Nah. That’s okay. If we said something offensive, we’re sorry.” The young woman said politely.

“No, really. Come join us. I think you have the wrong impression. This is my friend Joanne Bloom. I’m Dan Kotler.”

The young pair reluctantly slid their chairs from their table to Dan’s and Joanne’s. “I’m Jim, this is Denise.”

“Nice to meet you. It sounded to us like you thought we’re hungover?” Joanne asked with her ever-friendly countenance.

“I’m sorry. That was an unfair assumption on our part.” Jim said sheepishly.

“We’re not. Let me ask you a question. What did the two of you do this weekend? You don’t have to share anything too personal.” Joanne asked.

After a few moments of hesitation, Jim decided he would speak for the two of them. “We went to the movies Friday night. Slept in on Saturday morning. Went for a jog. Watched some college football on television.” He looked to the woman to confirm he wasn’t missing anything. “We met some friends for pizza Saturday night. Sunday, we hung out, watched more football, went on Facebook, and straightened up the apartment, and we both caught up on some work that’s due Monday morning.” The two nodded at each other. Denise remembered another item. “We went grocery shopping as well.”

“Sounds pretty normal.” Joanne added.

“Are you two married?” Denise asked Dan and Joanne.

“Yes, but not to each other.” Dan answered. “Here’s what I wanted to share with you. My wife has two Board meetings this morning. One for a not-for-profit that houses and counsels abused women and a Jewish-affiliated organization that provides food, funding, and counseling for families in need.”

“Why only Jewish families?” The woman asked. “Aren’t there families of different races and religions that are going through a tough time?”

“Did I say only Jewish families? The organization helps anyone regardless of race, religion, or anything else. After lunch, my wife and I will attend a lecture and fundraiser for affordable housing. This evening is a School Board meeting and then we’ll get together with a few other couples for dinner around nine, nine-thirty. I will have a few drinks. Then I’ll go home. Watch the news. Walk my dog Max. Answer some correspondence and write checks for the commitments we made.”

“It sounds exhausting. Is your story the same?” Jim asked Joanne.

“Somewhat. My husband will garden at the Temple for three or four hours. I’ll work on my novel. Then we’ll meet for lunch before we meet with the Superintendent of Schools to discuss more funding for reading programs for Latino students.” Joanne opened her calendar. “Then we’ll be going to a friend’s house to hear a Congressional candidate’s views on Middle East strife before going to the same School Board meeting Dan talked about. Then we’ll have dinner altogether where I will have a glass of white wine with two ice cubes.”

“Why two ice cubes?”

“I don’t know. It’s the way I like it.”

“You’ll excuse me if I sound rude, but you have the freedom and money to attend all of these things and make donations. Sounds like a good deal.”

“Our days start early in the morning and we’re busy almost seven days a week with the activities I described to you and I haven’t even talked about the weddings, birthday parties, Bar Mitzvahs, Christenings and Communions, and funerals. Always more funerals at our age.”

“It’s your choice. Isn’t it?”

Dan spoke first to the young couple. “I’ve spent the last sixty years building a successful business and providing for my family. I paid my taxes and voted religiously.  I thought many of the societal ills that are discussed prominently today were being solved. I was wrong. During that time I watched the quality of public education decline decade by decade. I watched as weak politicians masquerading as statesmen entered into weak economic agreements with other countries. I watched as minorities were exploited and discriminated against. I watched as the wealth disparity between the rich and poor grew.”

Joanne followed Dan with her story. “My parents were so poor they sent me to live with my grandmother when I was a young girl. I married the wrong man, started a family, got divorced, remarried, and lived out of a van for years while my second husband and I built our business. Yes, we’re retired but we’re working as hard if not harder than we did when we were employed. Instead of receiving thanks for the donations we give and the volunteer work we do, we listen to how our generation is hoarding our wealth while ignoring the plight of those less fortunate and marginalized.”

“You know that word?” The young woman asked.

“We know a lot of words like entitled, privileged, and marginalized.”

“So you’re admitting that you took full advantage of a system that favored…”

Dan interrupted. “We took full advantage of the opportunities and choices that we had. We thought we were making a better world. In some ways we did. In other ways, we perpetuated or ignored some big problems.”

“Some would say you need to give all the money you made back in order to equalize the economic playing field.” The young man offered.

“You weren’t listening. We are giving it back. Maybe not as much as you think we should. Our priorities were supporting our families and building for our retirement which we thought would be spent playing golf and canasta.” Joanne added.

“What’s canasta?” The young woman asked.

“It’s not important.” Joanne said with a smile. “What’s important is that the problems grew worse on our watch and now we’re working to fix them. What you might resent is that we won’t allow the supposed solutions to be chosen for us by the same politicians who said they were fixing them all those other times.”

“So you’re making a difference by making donations, attending meetings, and volunteering your time.” The young woman said with a sense of understanding.

“And it’s exhausting.” Dan paused. “Did you notice that you didn’t have any activities in your schedule this last weekend where you volunteered or attended a civic function?”

“We’re trying, Dan.”

“I have no doubt. However, you need to make money. Things have gotten more and more expensive, especially if you want to start a family.”

“I see your point. Do you have any advice for us?” The young man asked.

“Don’t be so hard on older Americans. Some of us are trying to undo the damage we did knowingly or unknowingly.”

The young couple said goodbye to Joanne. Dan followed them out of the front door where he pulled them aside. “By the way, you weren’t wrong. I was a little hungover. This civic-minded schedule is killing me. It never stops and when you think you have a break you get a call inviting you to more events. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. When you’re here next, don’t be strangers. We have a lot more to talk about.”