Tommy and Johnny: The Houston Astros

“It’s your move.” Johnny Perkins said to his friend Tommy “Big Nose” McQueen. Tommy didn’t have a big nose. He got his nickname because every discussion in Peterson’s Barbershop began with the phrase ‘something doesn’t smell right.’ Johnny had been waiting thirty minutes for Tommy to move one of his checkers. Unfortunately, the last half an hour had been spent in a heated discussion about the recent Presidential election. Finally, Tommy moved one of his pieces. Johnny tried to make his move quickly so that Tommy would keep his attention on the game, but that didn’t happen.

“Do you know what doesn’t smell right?” Tommy said to Johnny, the barbers, and the regulars who populated Peterson’s Barbershop. “Alex Cora got hired or rehired by the Red Sox. Who can keep track of these things?”

Johnny exhaled before responding because he knew there wouldn’t be another move made until Tommy was done pontificating on this subject. Johnny tried to end the discussion quickly. “The guy sat out one year. Lost a year’s income. His reputation was tarnished. He paid the price for being part of the Astros’ cheating scandal. End of story.”

Tommy shook his head like he needed to instruct a child. “He was the fall guy. He took one for the team, so the rest of the Astros’ team didn’t receive any penalties.”

“Where’s your proof?” Johnny asked with a groan.

“They’ve done statistical studies that showed how Astros’ players were significantly better hitters when they were playing at home. Jose Altuve batted three-hundred and thirty points better at home, Brian McCann batted two-hundred and sixty points better, and Carlos Correa hit one hundred and sixty points better at home.”

“Most teams play better at home.”

“Not to the degree the Astros did. Most of their players benefitted from knowing what pitches were being thrown and not one of them spoke up until they were assured they wouldn’t receive any sort of penalty.”

“Then how do you explain how they got to the American League Championship Series this year without stealing catchers’ signs and hitting garbage cans to signal their batters?”

“They’re a good organization with good players…”

“…who didn’t need to cheat.” Johnny paused. “What do you think it all means?”

“The Astros didn’t need to cheat, and Alex Cora fell on his sword for the entire Astros’ team.”

“Which also means that the whole league or at least the Commissioner’s office is involved in the cover up.” Johnny added.

“How else would you explain it?” Tommy asked. “But they couldn’t let the Astros get too far in the playoffs before they needed to lose.”

“Then, by extension, the Dodgers’ win this year is as tainted as the Astros’ World Series Championship in 2017 because we don’t know if the outcome of the American League playoff games were legit this year?”

“There are a lot of degrees of tainted. Because the Astros went as far as they did in the playoffs, they restored some of their credibility. They needed to prove they could win without cheating, but only to a point. They were also able to protect baseball’s fragile image.”

“Fragile? Once the coronavirus is behind us, the fans will flock to the stadiums as if the cheating scandal never occurred. The fans won’t give a lick that the Astros received a slap on the wrist.”

“Yes, and COVID-19 is the best thing that ever happened to Major League Baseball.” Tommy said confidently.

“They lost a fortune.” Johnny said.

“I’m not talking about money. Can you imagine Jose Altuve playing right field for the Astros at Yankee Stadium this last year? There might not be enough security in New York City to keep the fans in line.” Tommy said with a chuckle. “I can also see why Jeff Luhnow is suing the Astros.”

“Who is Jeff Luhnow?” Johnny asked.

“He was the General Manager of the Astros who was fired even though he claims he had nothing to do with the cheating scandal.”

“So, Luhnow took the hit for management just like Alex Cora was the scapegoat for the players.”

“Except he wasn’t rehired by the Astros or any other team. He’s suing because he didn’t get the sweet deal Cora did. Luhnow lost twenty-two million dollars.”

“He’ll shut up shortly. Once the Astros and Major League Baseball pay him off.”

“They have to pay him off. Major League Baseball can’t afford for players, the commissioner, owners, and managers to give testimony under oath.”

“Do you realize how cynical we sound?” Johnny asked.

“Yes, with cause. For years we’ve been told that the Commissioner’s primary job is to protect the integrity of the game.”

“Kind of reminds you of the 1919 Black Sox Scandal?”

“At least back then eight of the nine players for the White Sox admitted what they did. Only Joe Jackson argued for his own innocence. Everyone on the Astros seems to have known about the scandal and nobody said nothing.”

“Why would they? Major League Baseball had their backs.”

“Except Jeff Luhnow’s.”

“They’ll cover that base shortly.”

“Good choice of words. It’s your move. Can we play quietly for a few minutes?” Johnny asked.

“Sure.” Tommy stopped talking for only a few seconds and made a single move. “Did you see that Norm Crosby passed away?”

“Dear God! Who is Norm Crosby?” Johnny exclaimed.

“Exactly my point. That’s why we talk about these things.”