Not a Service Dog
By Roger Arsht
Annie felt lifeless on Monday morning as she pored over the morning stock quotes, analyst’s upgrades and downgrades, and rumors of whether the Fed’s would raise interest rates. The screen in front of her might could have been in Sanskrit because she couldn’t focus. Richard never left his stateroom after his ramblings about Kimberley and he didn’t emerge when Secret’s Kept docked in Annapolis. Annie disembarked the yacht with a disappointed shrug from Ed, a quiet ‘I’m sorry’ from Alex, and a squirming Lina in her arms. Annie couldn’t remember a time when she was so invested in a relationship after three dates, and for that she was upset with herself. She knew better than to move quickly and to be seduced by entertaining surroundings and misguided hopes that the next date would be better. She also knew that her desire for a meaningful relationship had left her vulnerable. She had fallen into the trap of wanting to help Richard. She also knew from experience that once that door was opened it couldn’t be closed again.
* * * *
Brooke was surprised when she opened the door to Annie’s office and Lina ran from under the desk to greet her with a series of loud barks. Brooke danced the jig for a moment as she maneuvered around Lina’s desire to jump up on her skirt. Annie raced from around her desk to take the mugs from Brooke’s hands so that her friend wasn’t wearing two cups of coffee and Lina didn’t get burned.
“Who’s this? Are we allowed to have dogs at the office?” Brooke asked while kneeling to pet the animated puppy.
“No.” Annie answered sullenly. “He’s Richard’s dog.”
“Whose Richard?”
“The man you know as Bertie.” Annie shared sadly.
“He lied to me? His name is Richard?”
“His real name is Richard Sandman. The author.”
“Did you say his real name is Richard Sandman? He’s famous. He sells thousands and thousands of books, and a few have been made into movies.” Brooke sat in one of Annie’s guest chairs so she could think. “That’s how he affords that yacht.”
Annie simply nodded her head in agreement.
“Since we now know who his is, what’s the deal with Secrets Kept, the yacht, the fake name? It all sounds like every Hugh Grant movie. However, the look on your face tells me that Richard is the villain not the hero.”
“Slow down. It’s a long story,” Annie said.
“Which requires an early lunch,” Brooke said while rising. “I’ll grab my purse and meet you in the lobby. I don’t think we can bring the dog in the restaurant. Can we leave her in the car? I don’t think the restaurant will buy that she’s an emotional support dog or service dog. Not the way she’s acting.”
Annie spent most of their time at lunch explaining the tragedies in Richard’s life, his brother, Captain Ed, Cathy and how he writes during his depressive periods. The story took nearly an hour. Brooke was waiting for Annie to tell her why she was never returning to the yacht and why her relationship with Richard was over, which suited Brooke after her recent dates. If Annie wasn’t going to pursue Richard, then she would. Half a man, in Brooke’s mind was better than the creep who had taken her to the cheap motel. If Annie wanted to hope for the mystical unicorn, then that was her problem. Instead, Annie surprised Brooke by telling her about Alex and how they should double-date.
“I dated his brother. I can’t date Alex. Wait. Are you sure you’re invited back? Brooke asked.
“That’s the crazy part of all of this. Regardless of whether Richard is in or out of a depressive episode, he thinks of us as a committed couple which is crazy. When I left the yacht on Sunday, he couldn’t find the strength or didn’t want to come on deck to say goodbye.”
“Why didn’t you go to his room?”
“I’m not allowed in.”
“It seems to me that ‘I’m not allowed in’ could be the title or the best descriptor for your relationship with Richard.”
“That’s not fair.” Annie said defensively. “We’ve made progress. He’s made progress. That whole Secrets Kept fantasy thing is gone.”
“Gone or hidden.”
“Why are you being so negative? I proposed that you come and meet Alex. He’s a legit professional and a man I can vouch for. He lives in Manhattan and he has a brother who owns a yacht. That’s far from a lousy date with a creep. No, it’s a big step up.”
“But I dated his brother.”
“Now who’s being naïve? You didn’t date Richard. You spent one evening aboard the yacht and by your own admission you didn’t sleep with him.” Annie was trying to read Brooke’s face when the truth occurred to her. “You don’t want second best.”
“Don’t be silly. He sounds wonderful. I’m excited to meet Alex.”
The two women sat silently until Annie spoke seriously while holding Brooke’s eyes with hers. “Maybe we’ve been doing what we do for too long?”
“Investing?”
“No. Maybe we’ve conditioned ourselves to want the best and expect the worst from men. I think I need to do some thinking. A part of me has been shielded from reality for so long that I don’t see that I’m not a complete person.”
“What’s missing?”
“That my professional success defines who I am. I don’t remember the last time I had dinner with a client. I can’t tell you how many children they have. If they’re divorced, sick, or where they vacation. I’ve never been invited to a client’s kid’s wedding or a Christmas party at one of their homes. I’m as adrift as…Secrets Kept.”
“You’re being hard on yourself. You and I make it possible for them to live their lives. The money you make them allows them to make choices like where they are vacationing or if they want to belong to a country club.” Brooke nervously hesitated before continuing. “Does Richard know that you’re capable of buying six or seven yachts if you wanted to?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“It’s too soon. I’ve only known him for a month. I just got his and the staff’s cellphone numbers.”
“And now you call him every night around the same time so you can talk about your day and to remind him that he’s special?” This time it was Annie who sat quietly because she couldn’t find her words. Brooke continued. “We’re both guilty of giving up. Maybe it’s our age or the wealth we’ve accumulated, but we’re both shut off from the normal world. I’ve been thinking about this whole Secrets Kept thing. I thought it was better to date a stranger because I could imagine he had a good side without working to find out the truth. I’m sorry to say, that we’re no different than Richard. We think our damaged parts are well concealed. They’re not. It’s hard to say, but we simply hide our problems. If anything, Richard’s issues are more easily identified than ours.”