Pay Your Debts
By Roger Arsht
“Dr. Bloom entered Richard’s office as Alex was walking out the door. Closing the door behind her, she asked Richard, “How did your card game go? Does your brother usually win when you play cards?”
“Almost always. I can’t read him. He sometimes acts like he doesn’t know how to play the game, or he gives me a lost look like he’s got himself boxed in and doesn’t have a play. I then throw the wrong card. He picks it up, and sure enough, he has Rummy.”
“How much did you lose?”
“Eighty-nine cents. He’s willing to keep my debts on account until I regain control of my finances.”
“How does that make you feel to be in his debt?”
“This is therapy?” Richard was legitimately surprised.
“Not yet. We’ll start in a few minutes. We have some things to talk about.”
“Like what?” Richard asked.
“For a smart guy, and you are smart, your lack of awareness startles me. Asking you about the card game was an icebreaker. I wanted you to know that the intervention was over and we had moved into another phase, but I do want you to concentrate on the here and now. Don’t think about the future or even tomorrow. Let’s focus on how you interact with people. For instance, you said you have trouble reading your brother’s expressions.”
“We’re playing cards. You’re supposed to give your opponent the wrong impression.”
“You’re right. It is cards. However, is it possible that there’s a pattern of you not being able to read or be aware of other people’s feelings? Before you answer that, I’d still like to know how you feel about being in his debt.”
“I don’t have any feeling about it. I mean, he’s my brother. We rarely pay each other when we lose a bet. We bet for fun.”
“But it’s always out there. The money. Part of you, on some level, remembers that you owe him money. Was the wager in jest? I watched you two play. I could see you were having a good time. I could also see that both of you were playing to win.”
“He doesn’t pay me when I win.” Richard said petulantly. Dr. Bloom could see that he was trying to give the matter some thought.
“We all make assumptions. We assume, and this is admittedly a small example, that you don’t have to pay your brother and he doesn’t have to pay you when you win.”
“Because the assumptions lead to misunderstandings?”
“Exactly. Those same assumptions cause us to believe that we don’t have to ask questions of the people in our lives and find out what they’re thinking or feeling. Some people might even suggest that we do it on purpose. That there are passive aggressive elements in those assumptions.”
“If, for instance, having control of my environment was an issue for me, I might create fictional worlds where I maintain control but others are shut out.”
“Maybe. We have worked together for a few years. You’re a good student. You memorize and recall the concepts we discuss, but you don’t always apply or internalize those ideas into your life.”
“You’re sharing a lot today. Usually, you let me talk for the entire hour,” Richard said.
“I want us to go in a new direction. When patients begin therapy, they rightly assume that the work is done in my office during the one-hour sessions. The work is continuous. When you leave my office, you’re leaving a safe, controlled environment, but you’re still processing events from the past and how you interact with people in the present.”
“So, you’ve made the yacht a ‘larger’ office.”
“Sort of. What I’m trying to do is transition you from processing what’s going on in your head to seeing how you interact with others.”
“Example?” Richard asked.
“When Captain Ed blocked the stairs and you bounced off of him, you never asked him why he did that or why he didn’t help you off the floor.” Richard didn’t respond. Dr. Bloom could see him replaying those events in his mind. “You didn’t ask me why I was willing to stay on the yacht and work with you every day when you know that I have a busy practice and many clients.”
“Um…I thought you had worked out a special program with Alex and Annie.”
“I didn’t. Why would I ignore the needs of my other clients for two weeks and only work with you.”
“I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?” Richard said angrily.
Dr. Bloom led Richard to the dining room table. This is where we’ll do our work. There are less distractions here. Your study is full of items that trigger memories.”
“You’re not staying here for two weeks?”
“Of course not. I have responsibilities here and elsewhere. We’ll meet twice a week at the same time and day of the week as we always have.”
“Is our session over for today?” Richard asked. Dr. Bloom could see that he was trying to escape from having to process the events of the last hour.
“No. It’s just beginning. Let’s start by talking about your card game with Alex.”
For the next sixty minutes, a testy and agitated Richard talked about his relationship with the crew, his brother, and Annie. When they were done, Dr. Bloom finished the notes she took during the session. On the paper she drew a large question mark because eventually Richard would need to discuss Kimberley’s and Wheeler’s deaths.